Me:
Mom, have you made an appointment to have that thing on your arm looked at? I'm certain it's a melanoma.
Mom:
No, but I promise I will.
Me:
Don't mess around, because Kim's dad had that same kind of thing on his foot and he let it go for two years, and it metastasized.
Mom:
I promise I'll go.
Me:
Because we're not long-lived people, you know.
Mom:
What makes you say that?
Me:
Did either of your parents or Daddy's parents even live to the age of 70?
Mom:
Mmmmm, no ... I don't think so.
Me:
Well, you're 75. If you have this taken care of, you just might make it to your 90s and break the curse, and then maybe *I'll* stand a chance of living that long, too.
Mom:
Oh, no, you don't want to live into your 90s.
Me:
I'm sure that's true. There was something about that on a show I watch... A guy was smoking and offered a cigarette to a girl, and she said no thanks, she had quit smoking because she didn't want five years shaved off her life, and the guy said, "Yeah, but those last five years always suck!" And that's so true!
Mom:
Yes, that is true.
Me:
I'm thinking Maude in "Harold and Maude" had the right idea. I think I'm gonna off myself when I turn 80.
Mom:
No, don't say that!
Me:
Ah, okay, I get it. You're just saying that because *you're* gonna be 80 soon. Don't worry, Mom, when you turn 80, I promise I won't put a pillow over your face. Unless you want me to.
