Violetxoxox

Prayer Of The Old Horse

I love this poem, even though it makes me so sad:

See, Lord,

my coat hangs in tatters,

like homespun, old, threadbare.

All that I had of zest,

all my strength,

I have given in hard work

and kept nothing back for myself.

Now

my poor head swings

to offer up all the loneliness of my heart.

Dear God,

stiff on my thickened legs

I stand here before You:

Your unprofitable servant.

Oh! of Your goodness,

give me a gentle death.

Amen

— Carmen Bernos de Gasztold

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The Bellfry Is Occupied

Me: My superhero name would totally be Bat Girl, if there weren't one already, dammit.
Kim: You could be Spider Girl.
Me: NO! I don't WANT to be Spider Girl. I want to be about bats. Don't say it...
Kim: You could be Batty Girl.
Me: I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY IT.

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♫ John Law "Young Lust"

I love haunting banjo songs. This is a favorite. It somehow manages to be more quietly psychotic and creepy than the original.

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To Do...

Me: I think I need to make a to-do list.
woj: #1 on the to-do list: don't lose the to-do list.
Me: But that's #2. #1 is MAKE to-do list.
woj: that's #0!

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via icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com

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likeit:

Winnie The Pooh and friends sing Rammstein’s Ich Will.

Is it Winnie and friends? Is it Rammstein? Is it Memorex? We may never know.

Reblogged from Like It.

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Zombie Mom

Mom (who is at home, sick): I wasn't home when you called earlier. I had to go to the market to get the drinks for the Lenten supper and take them over to the church. I'm not going to be able to go. I'm too sick. It nearly killed me, wrestling with all the plastic bags and six bottles of soda. And then I locked my purse in the trunk of the car.
Me: Mom, why didn't you tell someone you were too sick to do that?
Mom: Oh, no! I signed up to bring the drinks! It was my job.
Me: Yes, but if you're SICK.... You're allowed to be sick, you know. It happens. You didn't do it on purpose.
Mom: Yes, but I already talked to two other people, and one of them is sick with a cold and SHE had already taken the plates over even though SHE said SHE's not going to be able to go.
Me: Yes, but Mom ... people DO get sick, and if you are SICK, even if you've said you'll do something you need to tell someone you simply CAN'T.
Mom: Oh, I couldn't do that.
Me: Good lord. The day you die, you are going to climb out of your frickin' casket and go to the market.
Mom (laughing): You're probably right.
Me: I KNOW I'm right. You'll rise up, all zombified, and say you have to run get a gallon of milk or return some library books. It never occured to me before, but that IS what's going to happen. No doubt in my mind.

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“

Dark Side Of The Moon

Brilliant, deep, hopeful, powerful, dark, uplifting, profound. Every emotion I’ve ever felt is expressed in the notes on this album. A true masterpiece. =D

— read more at blippr.com

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From The Evil Overlord's Mouth...

Kim: I shouldn't smile. It makes me look less evil.
Me: You look younger when you smile.
Kim: Evil isn't young.

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The Last Five Suck Anyway

Me: Mom, have you made an appointment to have that thing on your arm looked at? I'm certain it's a melanoma.
Mom: No, but I promise I will.
Me: Don't mess around, because Kim's dad had that same kind of thing on his foot and he let it go for two years, and it metastasized.
Mom: I promise I'll go.
Me: Because we're not long-lived people, you know.
Mom: What makes you say that?
Me: Did either of your parents or Daddy's parents even live to the age of 70?
Mom: Mmmmm, no ... I don't think so.
Me: Well, you're 75. If you have this taken care of, you just might make it to your 90s and break the curse, and then maybe *I'll* stand a chance of living that long, too.
Mom: Oh, no, you don't want to live into your 90s.
Me: I'm sure that's true. There was something about that on a show I watch... A guy was smoking and offered a cigarette to a girl, and she said no thanks, she had quit smoking because she didn't want five years shaved off her life, and the guy said, "Yeah, but those last five years always suck!" And that's so true!
Mom: Yes, that is true.
Me: I'm thinking Maude in "Harold and Maude" had the right idea. I think I'm gonna off myself when I turn 80.
Mom: No, don't say that!
Me: Ah, okay, I get it. You're just saying that because *you're* gonna be 80 soon. Don't worry, Mom, when you turn 80, I promise I won't put a pillow over your face. Unless you want me to.
Mom: Okay.